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Friday

The Beeyotch is back....







It is no big secret to any of my regular readers that the Aging Disco Diva loathes the Dread Pirate Heather Mills...but I am in good company because evidently 99.9% of the earth's population would welcome a passel of virulent giant crotch crabs taking up residence in their britches before they would accept Heather Mills as a resident on their block ... or town ... or region ... country... hemisphere ... planet ... solar system .... unive ... well you get my drift.







99.9%??? Hmmm .... that means that there is .1% of the population aligned with "Camp Heather" .... or in other words one or two people on the planet who like---no strike that word---tolerate, the witch.





Oops! Time to change that percentage to 100%.....






Heather Mills needs to find herself a new publicist.

On Thursday, the former "model's" publicist of four years quit, calling her "an impossible person."

In a statement to TV show Extra, Michele Elyzabeth says,

"After working for Heather Mills for four years, I have decided to cease representing her. Since her divorce has become final, in my opinion, Heather has become an impossible person.

"Yesterday, we engaged in a heated argument during which she called me "stupid." I reminded her that she was not "God" and she answered, 'I will never ever talk to you again.' I have been very patient in my dealings with Heather, however, I cannot take any more. I have given her substantial unpaid time and attention. I am owed money. I refuse to be subjected to her outbursts.

"On reflection and given the way I have been treated, I now have sympathy with much of what the British press have reported about her."

Heather, 40, earlier this year received a $48.6m divorce settlement from the former the Beatle. She was branded "less than candid" by the High Court judge, and poured a jug over Sir Paul's lawyer Fiona Shackleton. She is best known in America for her appearance on the 2007 series of ABC's Dancing with the Stars. She has a daughter, Beatrice, 4, with McCartney, 66.






Way to go Heather-Chickie-Babe-Beyotch-from-hell... holy carp, you can't even PAY people to tolerate your nastyass personality.





Somewhere Sir Paul is lighting up some Maui Wowie and laughing his ass off. So let's see...your ex-husband hates you, your father hates you, anyone who has ever met you hates you, and now the person whose job it is to make people stop hating you ... hates you. Wow, that is a damn amazing accomplishment. Someday, if she tried hard enough, Denise Richards might, just might, come close...but for right now--you da' woman!





Poor Bee-ah-trice.... Mommy Heather Dearest makes Joan Crawford look like she could have been "Mother of the Year" I wonder if Beatrice is allowed to have wire hangers?







Here is a purported picture of the publicist finally giving Heather what she so justly deserved:












Thursday

Yup, He's More Than Star's Ex...He's Cleaner Than the Board of Health!




History has provided us with some great lines.



And....




"My mother used to tell me that 'you look cleaner than the board of health'"





"I never dated anyone like Star before ( ) and I fell in love with her mind, I fell in love with our friendship and the conversations that we used to have," he said. "Star and I would sit on the phone at night and talk like we were in high school.





That's kind of how we developed this friendship that then blossomed into love and a relationship."






"When you read about me in the paper, it's always as Star Jones' ex-husband. I want people to know that I'm more than just Star Jones' ex-husband. I'm Al Reynolds."




"I am not a homosexual"






Yes, big Al I will admit you sure look clean as a whistle, very masculine, and much more than just "Mr. Star Jones" Now get outta here with your bad ole' "metrosexual" self. Geez, next thing you know people will start gossiping that Dumbledore is.... oh my.....






Must be getting kinda' crowded in there....






A Little Song, a Little Dance, a Little Seltzer Down Your Pants.

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The Aging Disco Diva is back on the dance floor. The granddivo arrived about a month earlier than he was supposed to and was released from the hospital two days after his coming out party, and then re-hospitalized for a few more days . Thankfully he is back home groovin' to the oldies (which for him would be whatever was on the radio a week ago, LOL)




Chuckles the Clown goes to that Clown Car in the sky



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Well, not quite Chuckles, but Bozo the Clown.



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LOS ANGELES—Larry Harmon, who turned the character Bozo the Clown into a show business staple that delighted children for more than a half-century, died Thursday of congestive heart failure. He was 83.

His publicist, Jerry Digney, told The Associated Press he died at his home.

Although not the original Bozo, Harmon portrayed the popular clown in countless appearances and, as an entrepreneur, he licensed the character to others, particularly dozens of television stations around the country. The stations in turn hired actors to be their local Bozos.

"You might say, in a way, I was cloning BTC (Bozo the Clown) before anybody else out there got around to cloning DNA," Harmon told the AP in a 1996 interview.


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Dear lord, cloning clowns...that will keep me up all night long. The Diva hates clowns. If there is a hell, it is not populated with red creatures with pitchforks, it is run by clowns.... scary clowns...


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Wait a minute, that is redundant...all clowns are scary. REALLY, really scary.


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Clowns creeped me out when I was a kid. I am so friggin' old I remember Bozo the Clown on WPIX back in the early 60s...shudder... and then Steven King just solidified my clown phobia with his book "It" The television movie just put onto celluloid my deepest horrors. Thanks a lot Mr. King.





So to you Bozo: A little song, a little dance, a little seltzer down your pants...and please don't come to visit me tonight...


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For the rest of you: enjoy this classic Chuckles the Clown clip from The Mary Tyler Moore Show aka "Chuckles Bites the Dust"





"Life's a lot like that. From time to time we all fall down and hurt our foo-foo's."

R.I.P. Bozo

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Have a great holiday weekend!

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